Overcoming trials

The 5k I was training for was this past Saturday and as of race time I was sitting at home on my couch watching something on Netflix. I had surgery on my "good" knee four weeks ago, but my doctor, who knows how I tend to push myself, said I was forbidden to even walk in the 5k. I know that my doctor knows best, but it was hard to not go. I am finding myself increasingly discouraged by my body which seems to be increasingly rebellious against me. Rehab for my knee started off really well and I was weeks ahead of the protocol and then I hit the wall. A wall not caused by my recently operated on "good" knee, but rather a wall of limitations that are the result of my "bad" knee. My right knee which has been operated on 8 times is still so bad that the pain and grinding of that knee is negatively impacting the rehab of my left knee which has the "potential to be a perfect knee" to quote my doctor. My physical therapists are trying to get creative with my rehab and are going to talk to my doctor about my setback. I'll speak with my doctor tomorrow and I admit that I am nervous about my prospects.

In the mean time, I am still focusing on my eating. I have discovered the amazing world of freezer meals! I have tried out many new recipes that can be made ahead and then frozen and also several crock pot recipes. I have a severe yeast allergy which means that I shouldn't have preservatives and processed foods and for that reason I have to do a lot of cooking. Learning about freezing meals has greatly helped. Sometimes I choose one day of the weekend and cook a lot of meals to freeze. Other times I double a recipe that I am making for dinner so that I can freeze a portion for another. Look for me on Pintrest!

Wishing you love and sunshine,
Sarah

One step at a time

 One of the biggest things for me to remember on a daily basis is to break down my actions in to small obtainable goals. It is easy to get overwhelmed when I think about the 75lbs I still have to lose to hit my goal weight, so I have decided to take it 10lbs at a time. I am hoping to lose 10 lbs by September 6th. It is daunting to think about running a 5k in October, but I know I can walk that far, so my goal for the next month is to try to run 2 min out of every 5 min.

My goal for running is still contingent on what my doctor says about my knees. I walked a little over a mile last night. I didn't attempt to even jog because of the knee pain I just had walking. I walked at a leisurely pace because I know that as long as I am moving forward I am working toward my goals. I'm feeling pretty good today, so I am planning on running a bit tonight.

To be real with myself and anyone who might read this, I have a graphic I'm going to start putting at the bottom of my blog posts so you can see how I'm doing!

Wishing you love and sunshine,
Sarah

Learning to listen to my body

After years of athletic training and almost a dozen surgeries, I have finally learned to listen to my body. Saturday's first attempt at running was painful. I know the difference between soreness, caused by micro-tears in the muscle fibers that as they repair helps make the muscle stronger, and pain. My knees have been hurting a lot following my run so I decided to back off. I rested for two days taking time to ice my knees and taking Advil. Last night I walked 2 miles and lightly jogged a few staggered minutes. My knees are not as painful and stiff today, so I think I am on the right track. I made an appointment with my surgeon to have her take a look at my "good" knee. I call it my good knee because while it is bad, I haven't had surgery on it yet. I want to make sure I am not doing irreparable damage and what she says will be the difference between trying to run my first 5k in October versus walking the 5k.

My quest to get healthy has been full of ups and downs. I have lost 50 lbs in the last year and a half which is awesome, but I still find myself getting discouraged by set backs like knee pain. Maybe I need to listen harder to what my body is saying. Maybe it isn't really saying, "I am in pain. Slow down." Maybe my body is really saying, "I just can't keep taking the same abuse anymore!" I think during the course of this blog that I have decided walking the 5k isn't such a bad thing. I'm going to have to change the way I look at exercise and realize the philosophies of "No pain, No gain" and "Go hard or go home" just aren't working for me. I saw a sign up the road from where I live advertising a yoga class. Maybe it is time I take a different path to get to where I want to be.

Wishing you love and sunshine,
Sarah

I am not my parents, my son is not me

As I am still nursing my sore knees from this past weekends running attempt I had to stop and really think about a few things.

My son has an incredible passion for running. He is 11 years old and though he is really active he wasn’t interested in many sports. He tried baseball, but we quickly learned that his baseball career wasn’t going to advance beyond little league. When the elementary school started a running club a couple years ago, he was so excited. It is something that he loves to do and is really good at. He is 11 years old and requesting to run 5k races on a monthly basis now. I want him to excel and be excited, but I am hesitant because of my own athletic history.

From my first day of swim lessons when I was seven years old, my parents knew that I was going to be a swimmer. I excelled in my lessons and joined the year-round swim team at the YMCA when I was eight years old. By the time I was 14, I was swimming on two different teams year-round and a third in the summers. I loved swimming. I couldn’t get enough. To top it all off, I was really good. My parents couldn’t keep me from working out even on vacations. By the time I was in high school I was swimming 4-6 hours a day. It started taking a toll on my body, but I didn’t care because I had this drive to do the one thing that I was good at. One of my coaches had instilled in me the mentality of swim through the pain. By the time I was 16 I was in physical therapy for my shoulder. When I was 17 I had my first knee surgery. I had been swimming so much that I actually wore out the cartilage in my joint. I went to college swimming on the JV team, a year-round club team, and playing water polo. A year later, when I was 19, I had two more knee surgeries and a shoulder surgery. My swimming career was over. I lost who I was. I identified myself growing up as a swimmer and when I couldn’t swim anymore I didn’t know who I was or where I fit in the world. I am 33 now and my surgery total is up to 8 surgeries on one knee and 2 surgeries on one of my shoulders. I need to have a knee replacement now on my right knee and will be calling my doctor this week to take a look at my left knee.

I do not blame my parents, but I wish they had not let me do that to myself. I wish they had made me take more breaks. I wish that they ignored my pleas to keep swimming even though I was injured. I am hoping to learn from what happened to me and teach my son to enjoy running, listen to his body, and above all, learn that he is so much more than a runner. I want my son to say (in this situation at least) that he is nothing like his mom.

Wishing you love and sunshine,
Sarah

Another beginning...Desk to 5k

Yesterday I ran and yes, I did it on purpose. You see, I signed up for the Desk to 5k program at work. In 10 weeks I will be participating in my first 5k. I am not a runner and have never been a runner but with the help of my co-workers and a lot of work, I am determined to run the entire 5k. I'm sure most people are thinking that a 5k is no big deal, including my family members that are all runners, but for me it is a daunting task.

I am 70 lbs over weight and have horrible knees due to my younger athletic days. Yesterday morning we did 2.7 miles in 42 minutes by walking 4 minutes and running 1 minute. Each minute we spent running was the longest 60 seconds of my life. I spent time last night icing my knees and have taken the maximum amount of Advil for a 24 hour time period. I was so excited to sign up for this program, excited to start running... and now... I'm worried that my body might not be able to actually do this. I can handle sore muscles...I welcome sore muscles because I know that when my muscles are sore that I worked hard for them to be so. What I am unsure of is whether or not I am doing permanent damage to my knees.

I know this post doesn't make a lot of sense. I promise I will start at the beginning.

Love and sunshine,
Sarah